November 3, 2011 - posted in sundries
Yesterday I had the worst headache ever known to man.
There was a brief dimming of the light, and then it was the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where they opened the crate and the air was filled with shrieking demons and lightning, and the Angel of Death was melting my face. There was thunder and fog and locusts, and time and space cracked open and Elmer Fudd was singing Wagner operas. I opened my mouth to scream but there was no sound; shut my eyes to pray but there was no god. The devil laughed and women and children cried. Birds scattered into the sky! Fish washed up dead on the beaches! I saw fountains of molten earth and plumes of ash and human sacrifice, and all at once it was raining frogs and blood and fire and I heard a voice say “Zuul!”
Afterward, there was a rainbow-– God’s promise to humanity that this kind of thing would never have to happen again. But after this, I don’t know if I can trust that guy.
I didn’t used to get migraines, but lately I think I’ve had a few.
(some of you will notice I used roughly the same words on facebook the other day talking about diarrhea. I have no qualms about stealing from myself with regard to describing bodily afflictions. Next week I’ll use it to describe a sneeze or an orgasm.)